J Neal C C (srijiva) wrote in add_me,
J Neal C C
srijiva
add_me

Such A Fool... 2 Many Tears

I have this amazing ability to leave a trail of Chaos behind me. I stayed the night with this girl I know from AA. my brother Dan told me, on the topic of dating women in the program, "The odds are high... and they are highly odd"

I have this super human crush on this girl T___. J____. tragic tale, hers. her punk rock husband lost a battle with MRSA last year. I felt for her. Terra and I associated and expressed mutual attraction, like, etc... while she was grieving HEAVILY. I gave her a magazine and felt rather half creepy cause she's fraggin drop dead gorgeous (Tatooed Sick Girl Betty Page Bombshell... you know the type, right? think Betty Page with lotsa tatoos and punk rock. yeah yeah yeah... potential city, right? yet she is traumatized and sedated beyond belief. Ugh. So anyways, I hadn't seen her for awhile and she turned up recently in my home group... and she looks even better... she put on some needed weight and is clear eyed and foxy~tailed... and I asked her to dinner and she was flattered and said yes. however... she is impossible to get ahold of. she turned up in the meeting with a girl friend... I mean a girlfriend girlfriend. I can't blame her for going  gyrl... how can I compete with another gyrl? I can't... that's the story of my drama filled struggle to find true love. I love lesbians. i love bi-gyrls and tom~bois... tho the ones I tend to go for are the ones who don't "go",,, know what I mean(x2)? so i left the meeting early.

you see.... I just spent the night with C___. we did not fool around or screw or nothing. we cuddled. I am not house broken and early this mornin I woke up her room mate who stood by the front door and ushered me out... you know how humiliating that feels? i am already nuts. and thats it... i am nuts. no army... no job.... i may not even ever be able to return to school... i am fraggin going out of my mind. and it hurts.... love stinks... especially when yr alone.

so please ad me as a friend if yr some tragically alone gyrl who likes tragically alone guys... anyone else... please ad me too.... tho at this point I have sooooo many pople in my life... i'd really like to try and find some new LJ sister/friends... who knows? I know of a couple of instances of LJ girl meets lj boi and they fall in lj love and write about eachothers crap for the world to contemplate and they are living happily ever~tragically~after~the~matter~of~Factly
..~*~
`neal'
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