Hmm... what to say, what to say?
Well, first off, I'm God.
Can't get a better introduction there. You've all read my story, I bet... and don't listen to that Bible nonsense! It was written by men who twisted my words! For the most part, it's true, but don't take it so literally! I didn't really tell anyone to bash their enemies' babies onto rocks! I'm not mean, really! Sometimes, I get mad... you know, when the servants don't put enough sugar in my tea or they don't fluff my pillows correctly. (You can get neck problems that way, you know.)
I like to walk on the clouds and wake up in the morning and turn the sun on. I hate coffee. I despise it. You would too, if you drank it for 3,000 years every day. I gave it up about a millenia ago.
I'm sure you know my son Jesus, who I sent to die for your sins... and his mother, the virgin Mary. I figure... why waste space on this website and get three separate journals? This way, if one of us decides we are tired of it, we can just quit posting and the other two can keep going. Isn't that a good idea? God has great ideas! Shut up!
Sorry... I'm kind of drunk. Had a little too much Holy Spirit.