goingtomontauk2 (goingtomontauk2) wrote in add_me,
goingtomontauk2
goingtomontauk2
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Shine on You Crazy Diamond

Originally posted by goingtomontauk2 at Shine on You Crazy Diamond
The wake of everything is settling, jarring, it just started to rain as though nature could sense my frustrations. Lighting isn't crackling just yet but it's not far off now. I'm learning to deal with my new life quickly for the sake of survival. I met a girl last night, I hooked up for the first time in 4 years, it felt liberating and intoxicating. I'm eager to see what the future holds in store, to this now wondering traveler, with no home to speak to, tied to the stars above. My emotions get the best of me often, I've cognitively dealt with my separation, emotionally, I'm ebbing and flowing, like being on mushrooms for an extended period of time. Some moments I'm fine and happy and others I simply want to die. I guess it's time for the slow path which timing will be key, day by day, I must show some improvement. I hope going back to work tomorrow will make me feel better, if only absent from my mind. I would relish work at this point, I'm exhausted of thinking, of feeling.
Tomorrow starts another chapter in my life, the part which holds success, not because I want it, I do, but because it must. There isn't any try or try not, it's simply do. Do, because I can do, because it's what I'm meant to do. Handle others with care and empathy and hope it comes back to you but don't ever expect it to. Just be happy with the moment and the deed and live. It's time to explore the unknown and the possibilities of the future, the unbound. Continue to remain empathetic and comforting, even to the most despised people in your life. Try to be happy for their happiness and evolution, even if you're not included in that, for you are on a much different path, and perhaps this was just a way-station, a stop, to tomorrow's beauty, as dim as it might seem in this moonlight. Be hopeful for others and for yourself, give yourself time, time to make decisions, no impulsive actions. Glimmers of hope can be found in the darkest of circumstance and life has always been one of great opportunity, take those opportunities and capitalize on them. The same determination and resourcefulness shown at times of worry and panic, apply to the normal way of living and things will become simpler. Reduce life down into conceptualized areas, to focus on each one with great intensity, to make them shine. Tomorrow is another day but it's not, it's the start of grand adventure with the conclusions more unknown, now, then at any point in your life. You're going to have to deal with the uncertainty and loneliness in positive ways for the first time ever. This might take some time, effort, and will, on your part to stay the path that you've known all along but refuse to walk down, start walking, and enjoy the beauty you see along the way, for there is always beauty, when one chooses to see such wonders.
At this point routine must be the most important aspect of life, get in a stable one, start making plans, but let them also evolve organically. You have lost a tremendous amount over the past month, more than is possible to bare, so don't bare it for once, and just go with the flow, the ridiculous, the random, the road less traveled. Put behind pass losses and focus solely on the future, this will not be easy and you must be connected with the earth and world at all times, seek it's healing nature and power, from which all humans derive life. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and you need to start thinking of the now.
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