x.x _ pasting my introductory stuff
It's really difficult to tell you what my journal is about because my journal is about very private confessions of my own fucked up mind, in an attempt at explaining myself and attempting to find justification for how wrong I am.
So far... my posts have been telling the story of my drug addiction as it centers around my sex life (or lack of it sometimes). It extends into erotica sometimes, although I typically make the posts which are very sexually descriptive hidden behind only if you're in a particular friends group.
There is a lot confession and introspection. It's more about that aspect than the sex subject itself, but you should definitely be warned that this is not for someone who isn't mature yet and it may not be for you if you're easily triggered by sexuality in ANY way.
I will never attempt to involve you in talking about sex. I am only writing about it to tell my story, just so you know.
Here is my introductory post
I really don't even want to tell you any of the things that you would read if you were to enter my friends only permissions. I don't know why I'm compelled to share. If I could turn off the part of me that was capable of doing that, I would, but the most I can do is minimize how much I say when it's possible to get by not saying.
I may as well be an alien from another planet. I'm not like anyone from any place on Earth (or maybe more like them than you would hope) and I try my best to find a place in humanity, but remain yet far away in the furthest reaches of space. You can call me Uranus. That is my domain. This is both the best thing for me and for everyone I've ever known, until I sort out my alien conditions, metal health problems, and so forth, that I could actually move on with a life on Earth, despite my existence on my own private Uranus.
"The seventh planet from the sun, Uranus is an oddball. It’s the only giant planet whose equator is nearly at right angles to its orbit — it basically orbits on its side. Astronomers think the planet collided with some other planet-size object long ago, causing the tilt. The tilt causes extreme seasons that last 20-plus years, and the sun beats down on one pole or the other for 84 Earth-years."
This journal is fucked up. It may not necessarily show anything visually, but the subject matter can be dark despite that I may try to have an uplifting conclusion about it or not. If you're too immature for this content or would not enjoy confessions of disgusting, awful habits and delusions, or other mad faantasies and nightmares, then please abstain.
Generally, no one should read this...
I'm an insane person who can't keep my mouth shut, so here I am. I hope in the end that despite being truly appalled and repelled by my madness that you are also able to from a distance respect that a person who suffers from the mind I suffer with is not necessarily an evil person, and that there may yet be some redemption for everything that goes on inside my brain that I cannot control, by illustrating the things I can.
I'd be willing to read your journal and maybe let you read mine after looking you over, but... do not make attempts to get to know me beyond what I share in the posts. It's nothing personal. It's not that I don't want to be a real friend and a real person to you. But I can't be. From your vantage point on Earth, you can see only what is within the deepest reaches of space with a telescope. And the details of that are not entirely clear always. I am very far away.
Thank you for understanding and empathizing.
If you want to be added, comment or message with friends and if you want the all access to the other posts, tell me specifcially otherwise I will not give it to you. I will investigate your journal and decide if I think it's right to let you see it.
If my journal does bother you after you've read it, I encourage you to not read it, and I hope that you understand that I don't want you to read it if it's upsetting for you. I just want to tell the story of my brain.