vikingwoman87 (vikingwoman87) wrote in add_me,
vikingwoman87
vikingwoman87
add_me

Battling my feelings

So I am finally in a good relationship i can heal now from all the past damage right? So I thought. Me and my first love are back together after knowing eachother for 17 years you would think you know all there is to know. Well lets start by saying I am absolutly crazy about this man. He has his flaws but so do I. Anyways i came home and found him past out on the bed and his phone was on my pillow. As i go to move it it lights up and of course its porn. So what right? Well i should have just stopped at that but nope i had to be a nosey fucking female and got all in my feelings. As i go through his phone i notice he has a tumbler account. I clicked on it and its tons of near naked females that have nothing looks wise in common with chubby me. Great right. It gets better he also has a fetlife account i am hoping is old as it has very sexual pics of him and his ex. They were in a polyamorous relationship and i knew about that. But after seeing that and the stuff they did together it really put me in my feelings. I am sitting here thinking that i will never be enough for him. I know i sound crazy and insecure but how do i compete with fucking pornstar status. Im inexperianced and lacking in sexual confidence due to a past of abuse. So what now???
Subscribe

  • happy autumn

    Hi everyone, so I've returned to this community once again. I have been on LJ since the early 2000s, however, I've taken some breaks (some long, some…

  • Hello new friends

    My name is Alice, but you can call me Licha. I’m 33, married and have a baby boy. I live in Canada. I created a journal in 2006 and went on…

  • another hello

    Hi everyone! I'm 40 years old and am looking for people to be LJ friends with. My friend list is majorly waning bc most of them were fellow…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 15 comments

  • happy autumn

    Hi everyone, so I've returned to this community once again. I have been on LJ since the early 2000s, however, I've taken some breaks (some long, some…

  • Hello new friends

    My name is Alice, but you can call me Licha. I’m 33, married and have a baby boy. I live in Canada. I created a journal in 2006 and went on…

  • another hello

    Hi everyone! I'm 40 years old and am looking for people to be LJ friends with. My friend list is majorly waning bc most of them were fellow…