vikingwoman87 (vikingwoman87) wrote in add_me,
vikingwoman87
vikingwoman87
add_me

Battling my feelings

So I am finally in a good relationship i can heal now from all the past damage right? So I thought. Me and my first love are back together after knowing eachother for 17 years you would think you know all there is to know. Well lets start by saying I am absolutly crazy about this man. He has his flaws but so do I. Anyways i came home and found him past out on the bed and his phone was on my pillow. As i go to move it it lights up and of course its porn. So what right? Well i should have just stopped at that but nope i had to be a nosey fucking female and got all in my feelings. As i go through his phone i notice he has a tumbler account. I clicked on it and its tons of near naked females that have nothing looks wise in common with chubby me. Great right. It gets better he also has a fetlife account i am hoping is old as it has very sexual pics of him and his ex. They were in a polyamorous relationship and i knew about that. But after seeing that and the stuff they did together it really put me in my feelings. I am sitting here thinking that i will never be enough for him. I know i sound crazy and insecure but how do i compete with fucking pornstar status. Im inexperianced and lacking in sexual confidence due to a past of abuse. So what now???
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  • Hi!

    ✩ ✩✩ ✩✩ ✩✩ ✩Hello! My name is Pixel (she/her)! I'm a 32 year old. I don't quite remember my personality type but I'm an introverted…

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    Who is still active on this thing? I've recently been resurrected and I would like to actively journal again. I have had this journal for 18 years.…

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    Hello all, I have been a member of LJ on and off since 2008. In 2014 I went to paper journals, but I'm finding it hard to find time to keep it up.…